Birth Doula Initiation

I attended my first birth. It was perfect as births go. Not because of the location or length or amount of interventions. Not because of the proximity to due date, or weight of baby. Not because it met any of my expectations. It was perfect because the birthing person guided the entire experience with her partner and her #doula by her side the whole way. It was perfect because the birthing person had agency. It was perfect because the doctor listened. The space was centered on the birthing person.
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Attending a queer birth for my first birth was perfect. There were opportunities to show up in the way that I want to for all the births I attend. Witnessing the face of a baby arriving earth side is a fucking #miracle .

It was a moment of healing from my own birth. I had a #blessed birth. But as our family navigates the decisions around bringing another person in the world, I have been asking myself, “Can I do it again?” My labor was long and arduous, and as a person with chronic pain and autoimmune disregulation, I genuinely ask myself, “Can I do it again?”

Being a witness to the miracle of labor and birth, I had an overwhelming yes arrive inside of me. Because there is absolutely nothing logical about having kids nowadays. There is nothing cerebral about giving birth. The experience is completely somatic. All the ancestors arrived at one point near transition of the birth I attended. At that moment, I remembered. I remembered the sound of wind chimes through the cemeteries around our home where I gave birth. I remembered the innate presence of all the grandmothers and #queer witches from my lineage and my spouse’s lineage. In the transformative power of that moment, you die and are reborn being witnessed by the previous generation and the next. Reborn a parent. Reborn a new you.

What a gift to be a witness for this person’s transition into parenthood. Witnessing their spouse also arrive into the new them in that moment was a blessing. I feel deeply honored to show up for those arriving into the world. But most of all, being present for these new parents is the deepest blessing. Welcome home, beautiful child. You are blessed to have the family who chose you